Anime Twisted

I created this back in high school, and it's never ceased to crack me up since.

To the tune of "Twisted" from Twisted

Homura

I've gone and done it this time

Now Madoka's offended

But I could ask forgiveness

Our friendship could be mended

I'll say I didn't mean it

I'll try a nicer tack

And maybe if I'm sweet enough

My love will take me back

...And soon enough we'll both fall prey to Kyubey's grand deception.

To think I just considered trading rescue for affection!

Was my wish a work of mercy, or a merely selfish action?

Didn't I just tell Miki off for that exact infraction?

Well, the Madoka I left told me to save her from herself

But she in this new timeline is refusing all my help

I'm starting now to wonder if it's her or me that's bound

By tethers linking both of us each time that I rewound

Am I tied to this new version

Or to she who once existed?

I don't know what to do

When the ropes become so...

So...

Lordgenome

Twisted?

Homura

Who are you?

Lordgenome

A fellow puppeteer pulling twisted strings.

Homura

Wait – I know you, from that weird cartoon Madoka made me watch!

Lordgenome

You think you know me, as others think they know you. But there are two sides to every cartoon.

A leader has to make the tough decisions

If I hadn't, every human would have died

But one man, not understanding his position,

Thought he just had to go and see the world outside...

So he stole gunmen,

And he won then,

So I hope you're having fun, man,

Since your playtime will be ending very soon!

Sure, you went and took me down

But I don't know who's laughing now

When you're all stuck between a hard place and the moon.

So thrive, you hairless apes

But know the spiral's shape...

...is twisted.

Medusa

At least you had a shot. I was cursed from day one, you know.

A witch like me could never be a 'person' in their world

Society and Shibusen wage war on magic girls

From mother down to daughter, Meisters hunt us for our souls

I had to stop the slaughter, so I switched around the roles!

My sisters all were killed and eaten right before my eyes

So how could one who fought that madness not be worth a try?

The Kishin was a truly desperate measure, I'll admit

But when at last my fangs were sharp enough to strike them back –

I bit.

In the end, the project failed

So I'd have to say this tail...

...is twisted.

They couldn't handle a woman having power.

Lordgenome

They didn't hate you for your power. They hated you because your thematic animal is the snake. Fortune favors the adorable.

Kyubey

Au contraire –

Homura

NO. NOT YOU.

Scanty

...Anyway.

Kneesocks

Our only crime was trying to restore order.

Scanty

In town there were only two who were as powerful (and sexy) as we. Imagine the good we could have done together for that depraved, lawless city. But no!

Kneesocks

Those girls cared for nothing but themselves. Their own glory, their own wealth, and their own vices. They hurt anyone who got in their way, and some who didn't, just for the hell of it.

Scanty

But you know what the real kicker is? It doesn't matter what you do. They're the angels, and we're the demons...

Kneesocks

So we're the bitches, and they're the sisters. How's that for twisted?

Villains

Twisted... Twisted... Twisted...

Lordgenome

I only wished to protect them from extinction!

Medusa

I only wished for the right to live!

Scanty

I only wished to stave off anarchy!

Gendo Ikari

I only wished to fill in the gaps.

Medusa

I only wished to turn this evil world upside-down!

Benio Amakusa

I only wished to save her from those degenerates!

Lordgenome

I only wished to forestall a greater evil!

Benio Amakusa

I only wished to give our girls a safe space!

Kneesocks

I only wished to uphold the rule of law!

Lordgenome

To do what was necessary!

Gendo Ikari

To make a better world.

Medusa

To make them pay!

Gendo Ikari

To make her happy.

Benio Amakusa

To follow in my mother's footsteps!

Villains

I only wished for balance

I only wished for safety

I only wished for order

I only wished, I only wished, I only wished, I only wished,

Nagito Komaeda

I only wished to make high school students kill each other!

Homura

What?? Why would you do that??

Lordgenome

You're not helping. Disregard that.

Medusa

It's an unfortunate situation, but... you do have a choice.

Homura

What remains of a girl when at last her gem has cracked?

Does the love she gave out live on in the friends who loved her back?

But if she never found a place in anybody's heart

Is there nothing whatsoever once her essence breaks apart?

If I act the gentle sweetheart, I'll be happy for a day

Will I still believe it's worth it when she trades her soul away?

Will anyone defend me?

Will anyone maintain

that "Homura did nothing wrong"?

I wonder, then, to find an end where no one has to grieve

If I had best act cold but clever, or seem noble but naive?

I thought we'd be together

Once I traveled back in time

But if I must, to save her life

I'll leave the past behind

I'll leave the past behind!

If odds aren't on my side, I'll have to stack the deck

I'll give them all the silent, sharp kuudere they expect!

I've given my consent that the face that I present be twisted.

Let them call me the worst kind of mahou shoujo

Say I'm as evil as Mojo Jojo

If the pleasant approach is a no-go, that road I won't use!

Let my words be twisted

Let my heart be twisted

I'll be twisted

This I choose!